Tag: Laughs

: #Laughs What do West Virginians call a pretty woman? A tourist.

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: #Laughs Waiter: Why are you taking so long to order? Diner: I can't decide whether I want heartburn or nausea.

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: #Laughs Whats the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you.

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: #Laughs To the citizens of the United States of America:In light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Eliza

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: #Laughs Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None--He'll only promise "change."

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: #Laughs What do you get if you cross King Kong with a watchdog? A terrified postman.

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: #Laughs The patient: Tell me, is it true that alcohol decreases blood pressure? Doctor: Yes, that is true. P: And, is it true that coffee increases blood pressure? D: Yes, that is also true. P: So, in average, I live normally.

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: #Laughs Is this really your third marriage? Sure is.

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: #Laughs Did you hear about the dimwit who was so dumb he thought Gatorade was welfare for crocodiles?

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: #Laughs Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew werein danger of being boarded by a pirate ship.

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: #Laughs An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard.

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: #Laughs A man goes to the confessional and begins "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.""What is your sin, my son?" the priest asks back."Well," the man starts, "I used some horrible language this week and I feel absolutely terrible." "When did you use t

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: #Laughs Morris the loudmouth mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr.

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: #Laughs A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now." The mexican man pleads with them, "N

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: #Laughs Why were the two managers sitting around sketching crockery before the start of the game? It was a cup draw!

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: #Laughs Why is a burning candle like being thirsty ? Beacause a little water ends both of them !

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: #Laughs The Diet BREAKFAST 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 8 oz glass skim milkLUNCH 4 oz lean broiled chicken breast 1 cup steamed zucchini 1 Oreo cookieMID-AFTERNOON SNACK rest of the pack

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: #Laughs In what school subjects does the teacher say, 'Well done, hamburgers'? A wide range of subjects - meatyeval, history, meatematics and word grill.

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: #Laughs Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it is the scenter (centre).

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: #Laughs What word grows smaller when you add two letters to it? Add "er" to short and it becomes shorter.

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: #Laughs What do West Virginians call a pretty woman? A tourist.

: #Laughs Waiter: Why are you taking so long to order? Diner: I can't decide whether I want heartburn or nausea.

: #Laughs Whats the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you.

: #Laughs To the citizens of the United States of America:In light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Eliza

: #Laughs Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None--He'll only promise "change."

: #Laughs What do you get if you cross King Kong with a watchdog? A terrified postman.

: #Laughs The patient: Tell me, is it true that alcohol decreases blood pressure? Doctor: Yes, that is true. P: And, is it true that coffee increases blood pressure? D: Yes, that is also true. P: So, in average, I live normally.

: #Laughs Is this really your third marriage? Sure is.

: #Laughs Did you hear about the dimwit who was so dumb he thought Gatorade was welfare for crocodiles?

: #Laughs Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew werein danger of being boarded by a pirate ship.

: #Laughs An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard.

: #Laughs A man goes to the confessional and begins "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.""What is your sin, my son?" the priest asks back."Well," the man starts, "I used some horrible language this week and I feel absolutely terrible." "When did you use t

: #Laughs Morris the loudmouth mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr.

: #Laughs A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now." The mexican man pleads with them, "N

: #Laughs Why were the two managers sitting around sketching crockery before the start of the game? It was a cup draw!

: #Laughs Why is a burning candle like being thirsty ? Beacause a little water ends both of them !

: #Laughs The Diet BREAKFAST 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 8 oz glass skim milkLUNCH 4 oz lean broiled chicken breast 1 cup steamed zucchini 1 Oreo cookieMID-AFTERNOON SNACK rest of the pack

: #Laughs In what school subjects does the teacher say, 'Well done, hamburgers'? A wide range of subjects - meatyeval, history, meatematics and word grill.

: #Laughs Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it is the scenter (centre).

: #Laughs What word grows smaller when you add two letters to it? Add "er" to short and it becomes shorter.

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