Tag: Laughs

: #Laughs A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial --it went like this:Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running

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: #Laughs Q: How do you get a heavy metal guitarist to stop playing guitar?A: Put sheet music in front of him.

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: #Laughs ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION:You'll be making under an hour.ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION IN AN UP-AND-COMING COMPANY:You'll be making under an hour; we'll be bankrupt in a year.PROFIT-SHARING PLAN:Once it's shared between the higher-ups, there won't be a pr

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: #Laughs What do most men think Mutual Orgasm is?An insurance company.

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: #Laughs A guy walks into a bar ...

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: #Laughs |The following is supposedly a true story.

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: #Laughs Q: How many military information officers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: At the present point in time it is against policy and the best interests of military strategy to divulge information of such a statistical nature.

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: #Laughs Dear God: Yesterday was an awful day for me... My husband ran off with his secretary, My son pierced his eyebrow, My daughter tattooed the bald spot on her head, My dog mated with the neighbors cat, My neighbor sold her hous

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: #Laughs You think potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'oeuvre.

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: #Laughs Q: How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum?A: Three.

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: #Laughs Q: Did you hear about the Polak who studied for 5 days?A: He was scheduled to take a urine test.

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: #Laughs Old Farmer Johnson was dying.

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: #Laughs Roy walks into the front door of a bar.

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: #Laughs Who's got long blonde hair and big tits,and lives in Melbourne, Australia? Salman Rushdie.

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: #Laughs A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams.

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: #Laughs The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night.[Another quarter inch doesn't impress most women.]A sneeze zooms out of your mouth at over 600 m.

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: #Laughs Knock Knock Who's there ! Cain ! Cain who ? Cain you tell !

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: #Laughs |Q: What is the most breathless thing on television?A: The Pink Panter Show!Q: What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?A: A terrified postman!Q: When is a lion not a lion?A: When he turns into his cage!Q: What do cat actors say on s

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: #Laughs When you're having a bad day and it seems like people are trying to piss you off, just remember: it takes 42 muscles to frown, and only 4 to pull the trigger of a decent sniper rifle.

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: #Laughs Q: How do you know if there is a drummer at your door? A: The knocking always speeds up.

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: #Laughs A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial --it went like this:Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running

: #Laughs Q: How do you get a heavy metal guitarist to stop playing guitar?A: Put sheet music in front of him.

: #Laughs ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION:You'll be making under an hour.ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION IN AN UP-AND-COMING COMPANY:You'll be making under an hour; we'll be bankrupt in a year.PROFIT-SHARING PLAN:Once it's shared between the higher-ups, there won't be a pr

: #Laughs What do most men think Mutual Orgasm is?An insurance company.

: #Laughs A guy walks into a bar ...

: #Laughs |The following is supposedly a true story.

: #Laughs Q: How many military information officers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: At the present point in time it is against policy and the best interests of military strategy to divulge information of such a statistical nature.

: #Laughs Dear God: Yesterday was an awful day for me... My husband ran off with his secretary, My son pierced his eyebrow, My daughter tattooed the bald spot on her head, My dog mated with the neighbors cat, My neighbor sold her hous

: #Laughs You think potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'oeuvre.

: #Laughs Q: How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum?A: Three.

: #Laughs Q: Did you hear about the Polak who studied for 5 days?A: He was scheduled to take a urine test.

: #Laughs Old Farmer Johnson was dying.

: #Laughs Roy walks into the front door of a bar.

: #Laughs Who's got long blonde hair and big tits,and lives in Melbourne, Australia? Salman Rushdie.

: #Laughs A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams.

: #Laughs The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night.[Another quarter inch doesn't impress most women.]A sneeze zooms out of your mouth at over 600 m.

: #Laughs Knock Knock Who's there ! Cain ! Cain who ? Cain you tell !

: #Laughs |Q: What is the most breathless thing on television?A: The Pink Panter Show!Q: What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?A: A terrified postman!Q: When is a lion not a lion?A: When he turns into his cage!Q: What do cat actors say on s

: #Laughs When you're having a bad day and it seems like people are trying to piss you off, just remember: it takes 42 muscles to frown, and only 4 to pull the trigger of a decent sniper rifle.

: #Laughs Q: How do you know if there is a drummer at your door? A: The knocking always speeds up.

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