: #Laughs Peter and Jim were partners in a profitable painting-contracting business.

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#Laughs Peter and Jim were partners in a profitable painting-contracting business.

Unfortunately, they weren't entirely honest, because they mixed their paint with water.One day Jim's conscience started to bother him as they painted a poor widow's house.

The next day Jim told Peter he just couldn't be dishonest anymore."Don't quit now," Peter begged.

"A few more jobs and we can retire."Jim refused to change his mind."Peter," he said.

"I just can't do it.

Last night an angel stood by my bed and said - 'Repaint, repaint...

you thinner.'"

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: #Laughs Farmer John had just walked into the local watering hole, when who should he see, but his old friend Chris the tractor salesman sitting up at the bar.

@FunnyJohny

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: #Laughs Why are women such bad drivers?Because there is no road between the bedroom and the bathroom.

@FunnyJohny

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: #Laughs "I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job"--George Bush, during his first Presidential campaign"This is a great day for France!"--Richard Nixon, while attending Charles De Gaulle's funeral"Now, like, I'm President.

@FunnyJohny

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: #Laughs Teacher: Fred can you find me Australia on the map please ? Pupil: There it is Teacher: Now, Louise, who discovered Australia ? Pupil: Fred did !

: #Laughs Peter and Jim were partners in a profitable painting-contracting business.

More posts by @FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Farmer John had just walked into the local watering hole, when who should he see, but his old friend Chris the tractor salesman sitting up at the bar.

: #Laughs Why are women such bad drivers?Because there is no road between the bedroom and the bathroom.

: #Laughs "I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job"--George Bush, during his first Presidential campaign"This is a great day for France!"--Richard Nixon, while attending Charles De Gaulle's funeral"Now, like, I'm President.

: #Laughs Teacher: Fred can you find me Australia on the map please ? Pupil: There it is Teacher: Now, Louise, who discovered Australia ? Pupil: Fred did !

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