: #Laughs These are things that people actually said in court, word for word.

Posted in: #Laughs

#Laughs These are things that people actually said in court, word for word.

Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth.

Q: What year? A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: How old is your son-the one living with you.

A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan.

Q: Did you blow your horn or anything? A: After the accident? Q: Before the accident.

A: Sure, I played for ten years.

I even went to school for it.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo or occult? A: We both do.

Q: Voodoo? A: We do.

Q: You do? A: Yes, voodoo.

Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing? A: Yes.

Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car? A: Yes, sir.

Q: What did she say? A: What disco am I at? Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he? Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war? Q: Did he kill you? Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision? Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true? Q: How many times have you committed suicide? Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys? A: None.

Q: Were there any girls? Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement? A: Yes.

Q: And these stairs, did they go up also? Q: Mr.

Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you? A: I went to Europe, Sir.

Q: And you took your new wife? Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated? Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q: Was this a male, or a female? Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr.

Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? Q: You were not shot in the fracas? A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.

Q: Doctor, before you signed the death certificate, did you check for a pulse? A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No.

Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No.

Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you signed the certificate? A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

But now that you mention it, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.