: #Laughs |These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine:1.

@FunnyJohny

Posted in: #Laughs

#Laughs |These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine:1.

I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.2.

I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms.3.

Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.4.

Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.5.

Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.6.

Its best for employers that I not work with people.7.

Lets meet, so you can ooh and aah over my experience.8.

You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.9.

Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.10.

I was working for my mom until she decided to move.11.

Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.12.

Marital status: single.

Unmarried.

Unengaged.

Uninvolved.

No Commitments.13.

I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.14.

I am loyal to my employer at all costs...

Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.15.

I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.16.

My goal is to be a meteorologist.

But since I possess no training in meterology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.17.

I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.18.

As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.19.

Personal interests: donating blood.

Fourteen gallons so far.20.

Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.21.

Note: Please don't miscontrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping.

I have never quit a job.22.

Marital status: often.

Children: various.23.

Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 a.m.

every morning.

Could not work under those conditions.24.

The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.25.

Finished eighth in my class of ten.26.

References: None.

I've left a path of destruction behind me.

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