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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs The 5 toughest questions that women ask men, and the answers...The questions are:1.What are you thinking about?2.Do you love me?3.Do I look fat?4.Do you think she is prettier than me?5.What would you do if I died?What makes these questions so diff

@FunnyJohny

Posted in: #Laughs

#Laughs The 5 toughest questions that women ask men, and the answers...The questions are:1.What are you thinking about?2.Do you love me?3.Do I look fat?4.Do you think she is prettier than me?5.What would you do if I died?What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells the truth).

Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.Question # 1: What are you thinking about? The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear.

I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you." This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following: a.

Baseball.

b.

Football.

c.

How fat you are.

d.

How much prettier she is than you.

e.

How I would spend the insurance money if you died.

(Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!")Question # 2: Do you love me? The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear." Inappropriate responses include: A.

I suppose so.

B.

Would it make you feel better if I said yes? C.

That depends on what you mean by love.

D.

Does it matter? E.

Who, me?Question # 3: Do I look fat? The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Among the incorrect answers are: A.

Compared to what? B.

I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.

C.

A little extra weight looks good on you.

D.

I've seen fatter.

E.

Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me? Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Incorrect responses include: A.

Yes, but you have a better personality b.

Not prettier, but definitely thinner c.

Not as pretty as you when you were her age d.

Define pretty e.

Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.Question# 5: What would you do if I died? A definite no-win question.

(The real answer, or course, is "Buy a Corvette.") No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along the these lines:Woman: Would you get married again? Man: Definitely not! W: Why not, don't you like being married? M: Of course I do.

W: Then why wouldn't you remarry? M: Okay, I'd get married again.

W: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face) M: Yes, I would.

W: Would you sleep with her in our bed? M: Where else would we sleep? W: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her? M: That would seem like the proper thing to do.

W: And would you let her use my golf clubs? M: Of course not, Dear.

She's left-handed.


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