: #Laughs |An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy.

@FunnyJohny

Posted in: #Laughs

#Laughs |An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy.

An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.Talk is cheap.

Supply exceeds Demand.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Bentley's second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Berta's Fundamental Law of Economic Rents..

"The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Definition: Policy Analyst is someone unethical enough to be a lawyer, impractical enough to be a theologian, and pedantic enough to be an economist.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer.

The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left.

The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right.

The third econometrician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, "We got it! We got it!" --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How has French revolution affected world economic growth?A: Too early to say.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: What do economists and computers have in common?A: You need to punch information into both of them.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: Why does Treasury only have 10 minutes for morning tea?A: If they had any longer, they would need to re-train all the economists.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: Did you hear of the economist who dove into his swimming pool and broke his neck? A: He forgot to seasonally adjust his pool.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------NATURAL RATE OF UNEMPLOYMENT: Newlan's Truism: An "acceptable" level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: Why did the market economist cross the road? A: To reach the consensus forecast.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: What does an economist use when calculating constant-dollar estimates? A: Deflator mouse --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: None.

If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How many mainstream economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two.

One to assume the existence of ladder and one to change the bulb.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How many neo-classical economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: It depends on the wage rate.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: None.

The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How many B-school doctoral students does it take to change a light bulb? A: I'm writing my dissertation on that topic; I should have an answer for you in about five years.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How many investors does it take to change a light bulb? A: None - the market has already discounted the change.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How many Keynesian economists does it takes to change a light bulb? A: All.

Because then you will generate employment, more consumption, dislocating the aggregate demand to the right.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How many marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None - the bulb contains within it the seeds of its own revolution.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------When drawing up the guest list for a dinner party, inviting more than 25% economists ruins the conversation.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Economics is the painful elaboration of the obvious.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Seven plus or minus ten.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Irrelevant - the light bulb's preferences are to be taken as given.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: What's the difference between an economist and a befuddled old man with Alzheimer's? A: The economist is the one with the calculator.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: What's the difference between economists and businessmen?A: The first don't keep their feet on the ground; the latest use to keep their four feet in the ground --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Given 1000 economists, there will be 10 theoretical economists with different theories on how to change the light bulb and 990 empirical economists laboring to determine which theory is the *correct* one, and everyone will still be in the dark.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: Why did God create economists?A: In order to make weather forecasters look good.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: What does an economist do?A: A lot in the short run, which amounts to nothing in the long run.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Two economists meet on the street.One inquires, "How's your wife?"The other responds, "Relative to what?"--------------------------------------------------------------------------------To an economist, real life is a special case.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How many economists does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Eight.

One to screw it in and seven to hold everything else constant.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Economists have forecasted nine out of the last five recessions.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------When an economist says the evidence is "mixed," he or she means that theory says one thing and data says the opposite.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Econometrics is the art of drawing a crooked line from an unproved assumption to a foregone conclusion." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: Why has astrology been invented?A: So that economy could be an accurate science.

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