: #Laughs Things Not To Do While You Are With Your Wife In Labor In The Delivery Room1) Clip your toenails.

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#Laughs Things Not To Do While You Are With Your Wife In Labor In The Delivery Room1) Clip your toenails.

2) Read a Playboy magazine.

3) Tell the doctor that you want the afterbirth to have it bronzed.

4) Flirt with the nurse.

5) Watch a football game on your portable television.

6) Tell her how pretty and sexy she looks right now.

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: #Laughs Why do artists never win when they play football ? They keep drawing !

@FunnyJohny

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: A sympathetic Scot summed it all up very neatly in the remark, "You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk dancing." - Sir Arnold Bax British composer (1883 - 1953) #Quotes

@FunnyJohny

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: And, therefore, indifference is always the friend of the enemy, for it benefits the aggressor -- never its victim, whose pain is magnified when he or she feels forgotten. - Elie Wiesel, The Perils of Indifference US (Romanian-born) activist, novelist

@FunnyJohny

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: If you can't have faith in what is held up to you for faith, you must find things to believe in yourself, for a life without fai - Alec Bourne #Quotes

: #Laughs Things Not To Do While You Are With Your Wife In Labor In The Delivery Room1) Clip your toenails.

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: #Laughs Why do artists never win when they play football ? They keep drawing !

: A sympathetic Scot summed it all up very neatly in the remark, "You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk dancing." - Sir Arnold Bax British composer (1883 - 1953) #Quotes

: And, therefore, indifference is always the friend of the enemy, for it benefits the aggressor -- never its victim, whose pain is magnified when he or she feels forgotten. - Elie Wiesel, The Perils of Indifference US (Romanian-born) activist, novelist

: If you can't have faith in what is held up to you for faith, you must find things to believe in yourself, for a life without fai - Alec Bourne #Quotes

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