: #Laughs Jon's working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers.

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#Laughs Jon's working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers.

He goes to the emergency room.The doctor says, "Yuck! Well, give me the fingers, and I'll see what I can do."Jon says, "I haven't got the fingers."The doctor says, "What do you mean, you haven't got the fingers? It's 1998.

We've got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques.

I could have put them back on and made you like new.

Why didn't you bring the fingers?"Jon says, "Well, shit, Doc, I couldn't pick 'em up."

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: Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Francis William Bourdillon #Quotes

@FunnyJohny

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: #Laughs Snappy answers to sappy questions:All your puny problems solved in 10 words or less!Q: Dear Abby,What can I do about my little brother? He's such a pest!A: Have you tried a flyswatter?Q: Dear Abby,My boss is a mean, unappreciative slave driver who

@FunnyJohny

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: #Laughs Q1: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?A: There's white-out on the screen.Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?A: There's writing on the white-out.Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?A:

@FunnyJohny

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: #Laughs The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night.Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the Devil! Let him knowhow little you think of his evil!"The dying man said nothing.The priest repeated his order.

: #Laughs Jon's working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers.

More posts by @FunnyJohny

: Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Francis William Bourdillon #Quotes

: #Laughs Snappy answers to sappy questions:All your puny problems solved in 10 words or less!Q: Dear Abby,What can I do about my little brother? He's such a pest!A: Have you tried a flyswatter?Q: Dear Abby,My boss is a mean, unappreciative slave driver who

: #Laughs Q1: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?A: There's white-out on the screen.Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?A: There's writing on the white-out.Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?A:

: #Laughs The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night.Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the Devil! Let him knowhow little you think of his evil!"The dying man said nothing.The priest repeated his order.

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