: #Laughs If ya really want that new job, you may want to avoid saying these:"You could do worse." "I'll work so hard you won't even know I'm there." "I'll need all my paid vacation time up front so I'll be rested when I start." "You can't turn me down beca
@FunnyJohny 13 Days ago
#Laughs If ya really want that new job, you may want to avoid saying these:"You could do worse." "I'll work so hard you won't even know I'm there." "I'll need all my paid vacation time up front so I'll be rested when I start." "You can't turn me down because I smell bad.
You have to have a reason." "If you call the people I listed as references, please call my parole officer last." "That big thing growing on my face isn't my fault." "I don't do drugs at work any more.
And I probably won't" "I can go all day without peeing once." "If you hired my dumbass brother then you can surely hire me." "If you hire me I promise not to say anything about the your wicked bad breath." "I won't sue you when you fire me." "My arrest record is all a bunch of lies." "Iff you kin reed my handriting, ain't that gud enuff fer me to get the job? "I was a sniper in the Army." "The only reason my grades in High School was so bad was because all the teachers thought I was stupid because I didn't pass the tests.
They wasn't being fair to me because they don't like me." "I can make explosives from Windex, white-out, and copy machine toner." "If you hire me you can blow your nose on my sleeve any time you want to." "I'll need a company car and a driver because I can't legally drive anywhere in the Western Hemisphere except Cuba and it sucks to go there." "If you hire me don't tell the Welfare until I get my Jeep paid off." "The sticky stuff on my sleeve isn't what you think." "You don't have the BALLS to hire someone like me!" "If you hire me I will show up.
That's all I can promise for sure, but maybe it will be better than that and I will sure try." "When do we eat?" "How long do I have to work here before I can collect unemployment again?" "Don't go checking into my record, but if you do, she swore she was18." "I don't hear the voices anymore.
SHUT UP!!!" "If you give me a job you're OK but if you don't you suck." "I don't DO applications." "If I work here I'll wear the stupid uniform as long as I can wear any kind of underwear I want." "This will be my first job since the Beatles broke up because they really pissed me off!" "I won't have to do anything, will I" "If I get sick on the job, will I have to clean up my own puke?" "Can I bring my goat to the company daycare center?" "I collect guns.
You probably want to tell me that I got the job now, right?" "I'm not what? Oh yeah? Well here's what you can do with your friggin' job..."
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