: #Laughs |15.

Posted in: #Laughs

#Laughs |15.

I will not eat other animals' poop.

14.

I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.13.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

12.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator.11.

I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.10.

Cats: Circulate a petition that sleeping become a juried competition in major animal shows.

9.

Come to understand that cats are from Venus; dogs are from Mars.8.

Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.7.

Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on steroids, or they'll flush me! 6.

Get a bite in on that freak who gives me that shot every year.5.

Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.4.

Cats: Use new living room sofa as scratching post.

3.

January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock!January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock.

2.

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

AND the Number 1 New Year's Resolutions Made by Pets...1.

I will NOT chase the stick until I see it LEAVE THE IDIOT'S HAND