: #Laughs From Matt Groening's "Big Book Of Hell", here are: 'Lies My Older Brother And Sister Told Me'...The Sleeping Alligator Story Older Bro/Sis: See this? He isn't stuffed, ya know.

Posted in: #Laughs

#Laughs From Matt Groening's "Big Book Of Hell", here are: 'Lies My Older Brother And Sister Told Me'...The Sleeping Alligator Story Older Bro/Sis: See this? He isn't stuffed, ya know.

He's sleeping.

You: Really? Bro/Sis: If you don't believe me, why don't you put your finger in his mouth?The Boy-Trap Warning Bro/Sis: Inside my closet, there's a little door, and behind that little door, there's a boogey-man, and he's set traps in there, little boy traps.

You: Really? Bro/Sis: And they're baited with CUSTARD.

You: Uh-oh.The Alphabet Trick Bro/Sis: You can come up in the tree fort if you can recite the whole alphabet.

You: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y and Z.

Bro/Sis: Wrong.

Scram.The Yes-And-No Mind Puzzler Bro/Sis: Yes means no and no means yes.

Do you want me to hit you? You: Yes! No! Yes! No! Help!The Lure Of New Toys Bro/Sis: There's some new toys for you down in the basement.

You should go down there.

You: But last time you shut the door and turned off the lights.

Bro/Sis: This time we won't.The Snowflake Story Bro/Sis: Well I'll be!! Identical snowflakes!! You: Lemme see!! Lemme see!! Bro/Sis: Too late.

They melted.The Movie Switcheroo You: Hey!! This isn't Bambi!! Bro/Sis: This's better'n Bambi.The Elf Bro/Sis: I'd like you to meet Tom.

You: I don't see anybody.

Bro/Sis: Tom's invisible.

You: Oh sure.

Bro/Sis: He's an elf.

If you're nice to him, he'll give you three wishes.

You: Hi, Tom.The Family Reunion, 20 Years Later Bro/Sis: I don't remember doing any of that stuff to you.

Other Bro/Sis: Me neither.