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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs The Five Stages Of DrunkenessStage 1 - CLEVERThis is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known universe.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs One of the regular foursome was sick, so a new member named George filled in.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs |Another twist to this would be to distribute fifteen blank keys to male friends of the bride-to-be and two more blank keys to a guy and a very old lady.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Q: How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One, but you have to pry him off the sheep first.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar ? A sourpuss !

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Knock Knock Who's there ! Bettina ! Bettina who ? Bettina minute you'll open this door !

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs |A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic.He walks up to the drivers window and asks, "You drinkin'?"The driver said, "You buyin'?"

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A woman goes to the doctor complaining of bad knee pains.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Q: What's the difference between a road-killed deer and a road-killed lawyer?A: There's skid marks in front of the deer!

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Any married man should forget his mistakes,there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs |The following is supposedly a true story.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs What do cows usually fly around in? Helicowpters and Bulloons.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Teacher: You've been e-mailing other pupils that I'm ugly! Pupil: Sorry, miss, I didn't realise you wanted to keep it a secret.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly flat? You use a spirit level.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Which insect didn't play well in goal? The fumble bee!

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs What is another way to describe a cat ? A heat seeking missile !

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Jon left for a two day business trip to Chicago.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs How did the obscene telephone caller get attacked by the Gorilla? He made a mistake and dialled a preyer!

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Why did the pig join the Army? He heard the food was a mess.

Posted in: #Laughs

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