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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from the captain, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean." The passengers were obviou

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs |"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant."You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Man goes to the bar and says "bartender, give me 7 shots of Vodka." The bartender says "Ok, but pal you are gonna hurt yourself with that." The man says "Just pour them."The man takes the first shot and the bartender says "Hey, you want to talk ab

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs "And will there be anything else, sir?" the bellboy asked after setting out an elaborate dinner for two. "No thank you," the gentleman replied.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A general calls a colonel: - Do you have a couple of smart majors? - Yes I do. - Send them to me.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle? She knows she's given her last blow job.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur? A stinkasaurus!

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? A: Trying to hold on to a thought.Q: What is the mating call of the blonde? A:

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs How many Kentucky basketball fans does it take to roof a house?Three, if you slice them really thin.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Why didn't the dog want to play football? It was a boxer!

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place"(why...a duh!)On an infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water.(ah-ha! So that's what happened to my little sister!)On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advised fo

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Why don't mexicans have barbeques? the beans keep slipping through the grill.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs One of the reasons that fifty percent of marriages end in divorce is that those men who promised that they'd die for their woman just don't come through.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Little Johnny A traveling salesman rings this doorbell.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Q: WHY DID THE BLONDE BAKE A CHICKEN FOR 3 AND A HALF DAYS? A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125.

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