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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs How do you get a Texas Tech senior's eyes to sparkle? Shine a flashlight in his ears.

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Who won the Monster Beauty Contest? No one.

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs How can you tell that you're getting old? You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs How do you know you're leading a sad life? When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Two English sheep in a field.One says to the other "I'm not feeling very well"The other turns around and replies"Shut-the-f*ck-up, or you'll get us all killed"Sent by paully

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs What do you call a tube with a degree? A graduated cylinder.

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Australia.Where men are real menAnd sheep are scared shitlessAnd where the term 'Going Down Under' means something entirely different

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Why are there so many piggy banks? Pigs don't like to hide their money in the mattress.

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A doctor fell into a well once.He learned to tend to the sick and leave the well alone.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Two really old guys decided they would go out and try to play a round of golf together.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Attorney to witness: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?"Witness: "Where am I Cathy?"Attorney: "And why did that upset you?"Witness: "Because my name is Susan."

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Delta Airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips.

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs God is sitting up in his ivory tower, he's had enough of the pressures and stresses of being the number one, so he's decided to go on holiday.

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs |Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him.

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs One day there were 10 would-be Catholic priests, going through the tests that would make them ministers.

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Once, there were three guys stranded on an island, and the mainland was 100 miles away.The first guy swam 25 miles, and drowned.The second guy swam 50 miles, and drowned.The third guy swam 99 miles, and said,"I'm tired.

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Do you know why the Cincinnati Bengals were the last NFL team to get a website?Because they couldnt put three W's in a row.

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A drunk stumbles into a confessional.The priest hears him come in, but then he doesn't hear anything, so the priest knocks on the wall.The drunk says, "Forget it, buddy, there's no paper in this one, either!"

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Can any of you relate to these "addiction" quips? I sure can :)The last time you looked at the clock it was 11:30pm, and in what seems like only a few seconds later, your little sister runs past you to catch her 7am school bus.The remote to the T.

Posted in: #Laughs

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