: #Laughs A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks.

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#Laughs A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks.

After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini.

After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife...

When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."

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: #Laughs Bad: You can't find your vibrator.Worse: Your daughter "borrowed" it.Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room.Worse: You're in it.Bad: Your children are sexually active.Worse: With each other.Bad: Your husband's a cross dresser.Worse: He look

@FunnyJohny

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: #Laughs A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport."These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," one complained."These fairways seem to be getting longer too," said one of the others."The sand traps seem to be

@FunnyJohny

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: #Laughs Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola? A: Sit in the back and don't play.

@FunnyJohny

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: #Laughs A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks.

More posts by @FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Bad: You can't find your vibrator.Worse: Your daughter "borrowed" it.Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room.Worse: You're in it.Bad: Your children are sexually active.Worse: With each other.Bad: Your husband's a cross dresser.Worse: He look

: #Laughs A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport."These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," one complained."These fairways seem to be getting longer too," said one of the others."The sand traps seem to be

: #Laughs Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola? A: Sit in the back and don't play.

: #Laughs These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.

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