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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo theatre.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs One day a drunk walked into a bar and ordered a gin and tonic.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs What did the farmer say when his fat pig wouldn't fit into the pen? "There's more there than meets the sty."

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs |Q: What did the confused bee say?A: To bee or not to bee!Q: What's black, yellow and covered in blackberries?A: A bramble bee!Q: What do bees do if they want to use public transport?A: Wait at a buzz stop!Q: What is the bees favorite film?A: The

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs How are husbands like lawn mowers?They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs One day Mrs.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Safety Tip:Calculus and automobiles don't mix -- never drink and derive

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs There was this guy & he had just bought a brand new Farrari F-50 and hewas taking it for a cruise.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs The angry wife met her husband at the door.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs There once was a rich man who was near death.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs She said, "Kiss me doctor!" Doctor said, "I can't as we doctors have an ethics standard that does not allow us to kiss our patients, in fact, I really shouldn't be fucking you."

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the physiatrist began his therapy session, "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs An elderly man tells the Doctor he is planning on marrying a women of 30, and would he have any suggestions."Yes," says the Doctor, "I would advise you to take in a boarder."A year later at his 80th year check-up, the Doctor asks how everything is

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Q: How has Clinton made his cabinet look more like America? A: Many of them have sixth grade reading levels.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs For Chocolate Lovers:If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.The problem: How to get 2 pounds

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Knock Knock Who's there ! Aaron ! Aaron who ! Aaron the barber's floor !

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs How does a witch make scrambled eggs ? She holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove shake with fright ! 'Owl be seeing you later.'

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