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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Mother: Why was the phone busy all night? Babysitter: The fire department put me on hold.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Why did the 280-pound girl marry the 400-pound man? She wanted a big wedding.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending 50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers on the street.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A guy walks into a bar and rudely demands a shot of 12-yr old scotch.The bartender thinks "this guy doesn't know the difference," so he pours a shot of 2-year old scotch.The patron takes one sip and spits it out.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A preschool teacher thought it would be interesting for her students to learn to identify different names for the various kinds of meats.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs |Ten common fishing terms explainedCatch and Release - A conservation motion that happens most often right before the local Fish and Game officer pulls over a boat that has caught over it's limit.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Two guys were out hunting, but they weren't getting any ducks.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A woman and a baby come into the doctor's office.She is taken into an examining room and waits for the doctor.After arriving there, the doctor examines the baby, and finds him not gaining much weight and asks the woman, "Is he breast fed or on the

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Personally I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as both husband and Father, I can say anything I want to around the house. Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs |OLD KIDS never die, they just grow upOLD KNIGHTS IN CHAIN MAIL never die, they just shuffle off their metal coilsOLD LASER PHYSICISTS never die, they just become incoherentOLD LAWYERS never die, they just lose their appealOLD LAWYERS never die, t

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs There were three priests in a railroad station, all wanting to go home to Pittsburgh.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs So, I recently took a tour of the White House, and on the tour ourguide pointed out the new name to the "Oval Office", seems someoneliked the name the "Oral Office" better!

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs In the beginning, God created earth and rested.Then God created man and rested.Then God created woman.Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A wife was having coffee with a girlfriend of hers when she confided to her, "Our marriage has never been that great, but this year has been the absolute worst between my husband and I.Harry often yells at me, criticizes me, puts me down, plus he

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Top 20 Sayings We'd Like To See On Those Office Inspirational Posters:1.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Bob and his three golf buddies were out playing and were just starting on the back nine when Bob paused, looked down the fairway and began to sob uncontrollably.The other three gathered around him and asked: Whats wrong? Bob looked down at his fee

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs An auditor is checking the books of an airline.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs my wife is too afraid of cockroaches,one fine day i heard scream of my wife.she saw a cockroach and was screaming.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A visitor to the vatican met with the Pope and noticed a red phone sitting on his desk.What's that for?, he asked."Oh, that's the direct line to the Lord" said the Pope.The visitor said, "Wow, how much is a call?"The Pope answered, ",000 per min

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