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Tag: Laughs

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived far away called his brother and told him, "Do something nice for Dad and send me the bill." Later, he got a bill for 0.00, which he paid.

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Q: How does Bill Gates screw in a lightbulb? A: He doesn't.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Who are the hamburgers favourite people? Vegetarians!

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Everybody knows there are different opinions to everything.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs What did General Patton do on Thanksgiving? He gave tanks.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Process-Oriented God If God was process oriented, the Book of Genesis might read something like this: In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Did you know Sex is a crime?Its a misdemeanor - The more I miss de meaner I get..

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs One day a wife complained, "This wall clock almost killed my mother today. It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch." The husband grunted and replied, "The darn clock always was slow."

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie? "Well, doggone !"

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A man sobering up from the night before is sitting through the Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs You escort people out of line for having 11 items in the "10 items or less" lane.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Catching Criminals by Hans Upp

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy.Shortly after he recovers from his an anesthetic, his surgeon comes in and tells him: "Well, I've got good news and I've got bad news for you.""Give me the bad news first, Doc." says the patient.

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs The three dwarves were in rome and went to the nearest nunnery.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly flat? You use a spirit level.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift."Well," says the doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you'll have to come back in six months for a follow-up.""Oh, no." the woman replies.

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Did you hear about the blonde who...had more on her body than on her mind?was called "Sanka" because she had no active ingredient in the bean?took an hour to cook Minute Rice?got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?was an M.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs What should you do if you see a vicious dog? Hope he doesn't see you.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.

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