Tag: Laughs

: #Laughs One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church.

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: #Laughs Things Not To Say During SexGirls shouldn't say:You woke me up for that? Do you smell something burning? Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant? Sweetheart, did you lock the back door? ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!

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: #Laughs At a jury trial with the jury consisting of 8 men and 4 women: Defendant: "Your Honor, I wish to change my plea." Judge: "Is someone using undue influence to prompt you to change your mind?" Defendant: "No sir, when I pleaded No

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: #Laughs Patient: Doctor, I get the feeling that people don't give a hoot about anything I say.

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: #Laughs Waiter, there is a fly in my soup ! Hold on sir, I'll get the fly spray !

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: #Laughs What happens if you play tabletennis with a bad egg? First it goes ping, then it goes pong.

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: #Laughs A mechanical engineer died & went to heaven.

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: #Laughs What do you call a vampire junkie? Count Drugula.

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: #Laughs Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?A: She has a checkbook.

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: #Laughs |A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon.

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: #Laughs Teaching The teacher had given the class an assignment.

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: #Laughs |The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?" The guy answers, "A scotch, please." The bartender hands him the drink, and says "That'll be five dollars," to which the guy replies, "What are you talking about? I don't owe you

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: #Laughs What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

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: #Laughs A man called the undertaker one afternoon and sobbed:"Come and bury my wife.""But I buried your wife ten years ago," replied the undertaker."I got married again," the man sobbed."Oh," said the undertaker.

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: #Laughs |The following is supposedly a true story.

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: #Laughs On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place"(why...a duh!)On an infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water.(ah-ha! So that's what happened to my little sister!)On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advised fo

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: #Laughs Why do women have smaller feet than men?So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

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: #Laughs Why did the woman take a load of hay to bed? To feed her nightmare.

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: #Laughs Degrees (Fahrenheit)* 65 degrees:Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night* 60 degrees:Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)* 50 degrees:Miami residents turn on the heat* 45 degrees:Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts* 40 degrees:Yo

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: #Laughs Rosemary had been divorced for a few years and was finding life very lonely.

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: #Laughs One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church.

: #Laughs Things Not To Say During SexGirls shouldn't say:You woke me up for that? Do you smell something burning? Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant? Sweetheart, did you lock the back door? ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!

: #Laughs At a jury trial with the jury consisting of 8 men and 4 women: Defendant: "Your Honor, I wish to change my plea." Judge: "Is someone using undue influence to prompt you to change your mind?" Defendant: "No sir, when I pleaded No

: #Laughs Patient: Doctor, I get the feeling that people don't give a hoot about anything I say.

: #Laughs Waiter, there is a fly in my soup ! Hold on sir, I'll get the fly spray !

: #Laughs What happens if you play tabletennis with a bad egg? First it goes ping, then it goes pong.

: #Laughs A mechanical engineer died & went to heaven.

: #Laughs What do you call a vampire junkie? Count Drugula.

: #Laughs Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?A: She has a checkbook.

: #Laughs |A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon.

: #Laughs Teaching The teacher had given the class an assignment.

: #Laughs |The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?" The guy answers, "A scotch, please." The bartender hands him the drink, and says "That'll be five dollars," to which the guy replies, "What are you talking about? I don't owe you

: #Laughs What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

: #Laughs A man called the undertaker one afternoon and sobbed:"Come and bury my wife.""But I buried your wife ten years ago," replied the undertaker."I got married again," the man sobbed."Oh," said the undertaker.

: #Laughs |The following is supposedly a true story.

: #Laughs On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place"(why...a duh!)On an infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water.(ah-ha! So that's what happened to my little sister!)On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advised fo

: #Laughs Why do women have smaller feet than men?So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

: #Laughs Why did the woman take a load of hay to bed? To feed her nightmare.

: #Laughs Degrees (Fahrenheit)* 65 degrees:Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night* 60 degrees:Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)* 50 degrees:Miami residents turn on the heat* 45 degrees:Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts* 40 degrees:Yo

: #Laughs Rosemary had been divorced for a few years and was finding life very lonely.

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