Tag: Laughs

: #Laughs Prosecutor: Did you kill the victim?Defendant: No, I did not.Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury?Defendant: Yes, I do.

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: #Laughs What is the first symptom of AIDs?A hard, deep, pounding sensation in your ass.

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: #Laughs This German guy wanted to marry this Polish lady, but Poland had a law that you have to be Polish in order to marry someone that is Polish, so, in other words, he'd have to have 50% of his brain removed.

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: #Laughs By Bill AdlerA Teenager is...A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number..A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast..A youngster who receives his/her allowance on Monday, spends i

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: #Laughs It was Christmas eve, and Santa was really busy making his list and checking it twice, when there came a knock at the door.

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: #Laughs Me: "What is that noise?" Customer: "Hey Martinez!! I'm on the phone! Cut it out!" Me: "What was that?" Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Customer: "It's from a device." Me: "What kind of device?" Customer: "I don't know." Me:

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: #Laughs Teacher: I wished you would pay a little attention Pupil: I'm paying as little as I can !

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: #Laughs Why do dogs run in circles ? Because its hard to run in squares !

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: #Laughs What's the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky?Wayne takes a shower after 3 periods.

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: #Laughs The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband's lusty advances on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely."I demand proper manners in bed," she declared, "just as I do at the dinner table!"Amused by his wife's formality, the gro

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: #Laughs What does an agnostic, insomniac, dyslexic do? Stay up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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: #Laughs The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment.

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: #Laughs Three men die and go to heaven.

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: #Laughs A hundred prostitutes in Washington D.C.

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: #Laughs An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had

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: #Laughs Did u know that a condom had a serial number? No, I never had to unroll one that far.

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: #Laughs A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.

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: #Laughs A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven.

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: #Laughs What is uglier than an aardvark? Two aardvarks!

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: #Laughs In Heaven: The cooks are French, The policemen are English, The mechanics are German, The lovers are Italian, The bankers are Swiss.

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: #Laughs Prosecutor: Did you kill the victim?Defendant: No, I did not.Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury?Defendant: Yes, I do.

: #Laughs What is the first symptom of AIDs?A hard, deep, pounding sensation in your ass.

: #Laughs This German guy wanted to marry this Polish lady, but Poland had a law that you have to be Polish in order to marry someone that is Polish, so, in other words, he'd have to have 50% of his brain removed.

: #Laughs By Bill AdlerA Teenager is...A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number..A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast..A youngster who receives his/her allowance on Monday, spends i

: #Laughs It was Christmas eve, and Santa was really busy making his list and checking it twice, when there came a knock at the door.

: #Laughs Me: "What is that noise?" Customer: "Hey Martinez!! I'm on the phone! Cut it out!" Me: "What was that?" Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Customer: "It's from a device." Me: "What kind of device?" Customer: "I don't know." Me:

: #Laughs Teacher: I wished you would pay a little attention Pupil: I'm paying as little as I can !

: #Laughs Why do dogs run in circles ? Because its hard to run in squares !

: #Laughs What's the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky?Wayne takes a shower after 3 periods.

: #Laughs The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband's lusty advances on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely."I demand proper manners in bed," she declared, "just as I do at the dinner table!"Amused by his wife's formality, the gro

: #Laughs What does an agnostic, insomniac, dyslexic do? Stay up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

: #Laughs The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment.

: #Laughs Three men die and go to heaven.

: #Laughs A hundred prostitutes in Washington D.C.

: #Laughs An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had

: #Laughs Did u know that a condom had a serial number? No, I never had to unroll one that far.

: #Laughs A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.

: #Laughs A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven.

: #Laughs What is uglier than an aardvark? Two aardvarks!

: #Laughs In Heaven: The cooks are French, The policemen are English, The mechanics are German, The lovers are Italian, The bankers are Swiss.

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