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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs |John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs What is a frogs favorite drink? Croak-a-cola!

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Q: Why is having a wank like eating McDonald's?A: Because it's always exactly the same and afterwards you?.swear you'll never do it again.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs My mother is a typical Jewish mother.Once she was on jury duty.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Doctor Doctor I feel like a racehorse. Take one of these every 4 laps!

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs |Here are some of the submissions of actual comments, notices, and statements coming out of different companies: As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards.

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A lawyer got married to a woman who had previously been married 12 times.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A young woman, two months pregnant, went to see her obstetrician.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs The following is a "history" collected by teachers throughout theUnited States, from eighth grade through college level.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Patient: Tell me honestly, how am I? Dentist: Your teeth are fine, but your gums will have to come out.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs The pirate Red Beard was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter who was looking for juicy stories of excitement and derring-do.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs President Yeltsin, President Clinton and Bill Gates are invited to havedinner with God.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs |Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee1.0).Recently he upgraded Fiancee1.0 to Wife1.0, and it's a memory hogger! It has taken all his space; and Wife1.0 must be running before he can do anyt

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs If you constantly hear a married man brag about how he runs everything around the house, you can be sure that he is referring to the lawn mower, the car, the errands, and the baby carriage.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs How does the captain know the aircraft is safely at the ramp? Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs I was an Air Force ICBM launch control officer in South Dakota.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs |DURING a readiness exercise, my friend Jim and I, Air Force security policemen, were guarding entry to a bunker-like structure where aircrafts were kept.When a pilot about to do a preflight check approached without his identification in plain vie

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Did you like www.flower.com? Not at first....but it grew on me!

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Husband, upon meeting ex- after two years of separation:"Listen honey, why don't we have a few drinks, dinner, go to my apartment and really make love?"Ex-: "Over my dead body!"Husband: "You haven't changed a bit"

Posted in: #Laughs

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