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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs How to Hunt Elephants -- Comp Sci Style Computer scientists hunt elephants using algorithm A: 1.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Doctor Doctor I'm so ugly what can I do about it? Hire yourself out for Halloween parties!

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Microsoft announced today that the official release date for the new operating system "Windows 2000" will be delayed until the second quarter of1901.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?A: It don't matter what you call him, he ain't commin'!

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs |What's green a slimy and found at the North Pole?A lost frog!

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Q: Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs This assignment was actually turned in by two English students:----------------------------------------------------------------Rebecca and Gary English 44ASMUCreative WritingProf Miller In-class Assignment for WednesdayToday we w

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs HOW TO SATISFY A WOMANCaress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, humor, stimulate, stroke, console, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Q: How many Englishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: What do you mean change it? It's a perfectly good bloody bulb! We have had it for a thousand years and it has worked just fine.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Why does Father Christmas like to work in the garden ? Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs 'Mum,' yelled Johnny from the kitchen, 'you know that dish you were always worried that I would break ?' 'Yes dear, what about it ?' 'Well your worries are over.'

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs This guy is just starting off his career as a ventriliquist and he's going around town looking for a job.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs |Recently seen on a card...Outside: We dont feel sorry for you blowing all those candles, what about us...Inside: ...

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs During the Vietnam War, a hillbilly soldier shot about a dozen of the enemy during his first battle.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs In The Beginning was The Plan.And then came the Assumptions And the Assumptions were without formAnd the Plan was completely without substance and the darkness wasupon the face of the workers and they spoke among themselves,saying...

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs What do you get when you have a cow and a duck? Milk and quackers.What does an envelope say when you lick it? Nothing, it just shuts up.What does Michael Jackson call his "Tickle-me Elmo" doll?Bait.What goes "99 thump 99 thump 99 thump...?"A centi

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs "Oh love, what did you ever do to deserve a wife like me?"she said looking lovingly into her husbands eyes."I don't know, but I promise I'll never do it again."

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs What do you get if you cross a bike and a rose ? Bicycle petals !

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Women are like computers -- even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

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