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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A woman asks: "Why don't men get mad cow disease?"Another woman replies: "Because men are pigs!"

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But, officer," the man began, "I can explain" "Just be quiet," snapped the officer.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Father: How do you like going to school? Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Q: If fathers have Father's Day, and mothers have Mother's Day,?.what do single guys have?A: Palm Sunday.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Did you hear about the household appliance that eats ants and records TV shows? It's the VCRdvard

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs |OLD MUSICIANS never die, they just get played outOLD MUSICIANS never die, they just go from bar to barOLD NUCLEAR POWER PLANTS never die, they just go off-lineOLD NUMERICAL ANALYSTS never die, they just get disarrayedOLD OWLS never die, they just

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Q: What happens when a Polak doesn't pay his garbage bill?A: They stop delivering.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs |The advice your son rejected is now being given by him to your grandson.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs |Theorem: All positive integers are equal.Proof: Sufficient to show that for any two positive integers, A and B, A = B.Further, it is sufficient to show that for all N > 0, if A and B (positive integers) satisfy (MAX(A, B) = N) then A = B.Proceed

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs How did the dog make anti-freeze? He stole her blanket.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs |Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests!Doctor: Don't worry about it.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Q: "What has an IQ of 42?" A: "40 Marines plus their lieutenant"

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Father Christmas: What's your favourite Christmas story? Elf: The one about the ghost that steals porridge! Father Christmas: You mean 'Ghoul-di-locks'!

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up five more points? Doctor: Sell!

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him? He stung her into action.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs What do you call a man who claps at Christmas ? Santapplause !

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs It seems that Ken Starr is dropping all sexual allegations against President Clinton.

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