Tag: Laughs

: #Laughs Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?- Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&M's

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: #Laughs Diner: Waiter, please close the window. Waiter: Why, is there a draft? Diner: Yes, it's blown my steak off the plate three times.

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: #Laughs Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food but no atmosphere.

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: #Laughs What does Paul Inces mum make for Christmas ? Ince pies !

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: #Laughs Q: Where do cats write down notes? - A: Scratch Paper!

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: #Laughs |My wife and I are both the youngest child.

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: #Laughs What's it called when a vampire kisses you goodnight? Necking.

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: #Laughs Old Chinese proverb:Rape impossible!Woman with skirt up run faster than man with trousers down!

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: #Laughs How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly flat? You use a spirit level.

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: #Laughs Policeman: Why are you driving without a license? Motorist: Because it was revoked months ago.

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: #Laughs I've never been much on fashion, but got quite a few compliments on a new sports jacket I wore to work one day.

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: #Laughs I recently had surgery on my hand, and asked the doctor if,after surgery, I would be able to play the banjo.

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: #Laughs ACTUAL PRODUCT INSTRUCTIONS:ON A HAIRDRYER:Do not use while sleeping.ON A BAG OF FRITOS:You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.

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: #Laughs This blonde was at a coke machine and and put her change in and mashed a button and out comes a drink.

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: #Laughs The Perfect Day - Her 8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses 9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale 9:30 Light Breakfast 11:00 Sunbathe 12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe 1:45 Shopping 2:30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex and no

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: #Laughs |Married life is full of excitement and frustration:* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.It i

@FunnyJohny

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: #Laughs Why did the dog have a gleam in his eye? Someone bumped his elbow while he was brushing his teeth.

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: #Laughs Where do space monsters live? In far distant terror-tory.

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: #Laughs Why was the cannibal expelled from school? Because he kept buttering up the teacher.

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: #Laughs Who is the greatest painter of this century? Pigcasso!

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: #Laughs Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?- Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&M's

: #Laughs Diner: Waiter, please close the window. Waiter: Why, is there a draft? Diner: Yes, it's blown my steak off the plate three times.

: #Laughs Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food but no atmosphere.

: #Laughs What does Paul Inces mum make for Christmas ? Ince pies !

: #Laughs Q: Where do cats write down notes? - A: Scratch Paper!

: #Laughs |My wife and I are both the youngest child.

: #Laughs What's it called when a vampire kisses you goodnight? Necking.

: #Laughs Old Chinese proverb:Rape impossible!Woman with skirt up run faster than man with trousers down!

: #Laughs How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly flat? You use a spirit level.

: #Laughs Policeman: Why are you driving without a license? Motorist: Because it was revoked months ago.

: #Laughs I've never been much on fashion, but got quite a few compliments on a new sports jacket I wore to work one day.

: #Laughs I recently had surgery on my hand, and asked the doctor if,after surgery, I would be able to play the banjo.

: #Laughs ACTUAL PRODUCT INSTRUCTIONS:ON A HAIRDRYER:Do not use while sleeping.ON A BAG OF FRITOS:You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.

: #Laughs This blonde was at a coke machine and and put her change in and mashed a button and out comes a drink.

: #Laughs The Perfect Day - Her 8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses 9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale 9:30 Light Breakfast 11:00 Sunbathe 12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe 1:45 Shopping 2:30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex and no

: #Laughs |Married life is full of excitement and frustration:* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.It i

: #Laughs Why did the dog have a gleam in his eye? Someone bumped his elbow while he was brushing his teeth.

: #Laughs Where do space monsters live? In far distant terror-tory.

: #Laughs Why was the cannibal expelled from school? Because he kept buttering up the teacher.

: #Laughs Who is the greatest painter of this century? Pigcasso!

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