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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs if at first you dont succeed...buy her another drink

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A burglar broke into a house one night.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs |A seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.The bartender asks the seal, "What's your pleasure?"The seal replies, "Anything but Canadian Club."

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A woman was thinking about finding a pet to help keep hercompany at home.She decided she would like to find a beautiful parrot; itwouldn't be as much work as say a dog, and it would be funto hear it speak.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?A: To turn the blinker off.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs You're hiking around on Hampsted Heath (a park near London) at the end of a long sunny day.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs An extremely old man visits his doctor and tells him, "I need my sex drive lowered."The doctor, incredulous, says, "What?? You want your sex drive _lowered_??"To which the old man replies, "It's all in my head; I need it LOWERED!"

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept.

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull." The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, "If my dad was an elephant an

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs The following gems of wisdom were gleaned from test papers and essays from elementary, junior high, high school, and college students.As one teacher noted, "It is truly astonishing what weird stuff our young scholars can create under the pressures

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Why was the restaurant called "Out of this World"? Because it was full of Unidentified Frying Objects.

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Inebriated drinker says to the bartender (with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for .00.

Posted in: #Laughs

FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Q - Why do women have smaller feet than men?? A - So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink!Q - The dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door...

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A Packer fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Lambeau Field,until he noticed an empty seat down in front.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs What's 30 feet long and smells like urine?A country line dance at the nursing home!

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs While driving along the back roads of a small town, two truckers came to an overpass with a sign that read CLEARANCE 11'3." They got out and measured their rig, which was 12'4." "What do you think?" one asked the other. The driv

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Yo mama's so ugly, she's like Taco Bell.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session."I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said.

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