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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A husband and wife are getting ready to go to bed.The husband says, "I thought we'd have sex tonight."The wife replies, "No, I'm too tired tonight."The husband says, "Is that your final answer?"The wife says, "Yes, it is, thank you."The husband sa

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A man who thought he was John the Baptist was disturbing the neighborhood, so for public safety, he was committed.He was put in a room with another crazy and immediately began his routine, "I am John The Baptist! Jesus Christ has sent me!"The othe

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs |Why do they put a suicide watch on death row prisoners? Why would you care if a man you're planning to kill anyway, kills himself? Does it spoil the fun? I also think about the death row prisoner in Texas who, on the day before his execution, man

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A newlywed couple, after bringing their luggage into their cabin, stormed down to the desk.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A woman enters a butcher shop and asks the counter assistant,"Do you have pigs ears?"The counter assistant replies,"No, its just the way my hair is parted!"

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs You prefer to walk the excess length off your jeans rather then hem them.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs For his wife's birthday party, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription:"You are not getting older,You are just getting better."When asked how he wanted it arranged, he said, "Just put 'You are not getting older' at the top, and 'You are just

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain or, having children will turn you into your parents.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs What kind of leash should you buy for a Chihuahua? A short one!

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs "My birthday's coming" Do you know what I need?" "Yeah, but how do you wrap a life?"

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Why should you use six hooks on your fishing line? eFISHancy!

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs |OLD SOCCER PLAYERS never die, they just achieve their final goalOLD SOCCER PLAYERS never die, they just lose their kickOLD SOLDIERS never die, they just fade awayOLD SOLDIERS never die, they just smell that wayOLD SOLDIERS never die, young ones d

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A very well-built young lady was lying on her psychiatrist's couch, telling him how frustrated she was.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs ? She opens the car door.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs What do witches use pencil sharpeners for? To keep their hats pointed.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs Doctor, doctor, I'm at death's door! Don't worry, Mrs Jenkins.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs How do you get an elephant into the fridge?1.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs LH741: Tower, give me a rough time check Tower: It's Thursday, Sir.

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FunnyJohny

: #Laughs On her way home a blonde drove past a sign that said "CLEANRESTROOMS 8 MILES".By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.

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