Tag: Laughs

: #Laughs Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner.

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: #Laughs A mortician was working late one night.

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: #Laughs What would a pig name a chain of food stores? "Stop "N Slop Markets"

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: #Laughs The banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat. The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, "Can you float alone?" "Obviously," the banker replied, "but this is a heck of a

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: #Laughs A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms."Now, class.

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: #Laughs A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store.

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: #Laughs |Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests!Doctor: Don't worry about it.

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: #Laughs A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together.

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: #Laughs What did the horse say to whinnie the pooh while watching his t.v.

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: #Laughs WARNING! PLEASE READ IMMEDIATELY! THIS IS SERIOUS! If you get an envelope from a company called the Internal Revenue Service," DO NOT OPEN IT! This group operates a scam around this time every year.

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: #Laughs What does an aardvark take for ant-digestion? Anta-Seltzer!

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: #Laughs December 26, 1999Dear Santa,You must be surprised that I'm writing to you today, the 26th of December.

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: #Laughs |"Young man," said the judge, looking sternly at the defendant.

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: #Laughs Ebonics Crimmus PomeWuz de nite befo Crimmus An' all ower de hood ereybody wuz' sleepin' Dey wuz sleepin' goodWe hunged up our stockings An hoped like de' heck That ol Sanna Clause Be bringin' our checkAll o'de fambily Wuz layin in de beds While R

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: #Laughs Q: Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?A: He comes down the chimney, wakes up the children and says,?"Hey kids, do you want to buy some toys?"

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: #Laughs A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall: 0 If we fail to fill your order! When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant nuts on rye. She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen where al

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: #Laughs What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards ? Best vicious of the season

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: #Laughs |A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit.

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: #Laughs |A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word.An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, "Ar

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: #Laughs What happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in Spring training.

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: #Laughs Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner.

: #Laughs A mortician was working late one night.

: #Laughs What would a pig name a chain of food stores? "Stop "N Slop Markets"

: #Laughs The banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat. The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, "Can you float alone?" "Obviously," the banker replied, "but this is a heck of a

: #Laughs A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms."Now, class.

: #Laughs A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store.

: #Laughs |Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests!Doctor: Don't worry about it.

: #Laughs A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together.

: #Laughs What did the horse say to whinnie the pooh while watching his t.v.

: #Laughs WARNING! PLEASE READ IMMEDIATELY! THIS IS SERIOUS! If you get an envelope from a company called the Internal Revenue Service," DO NOT OPEN IT! This group operates a scam around this time every year.

: #Laughs What does an aardvark take for ant-digestion? Anta-Seltzer!

: #Laughs December 26, 1999Dear Santa,You must be surprised that I'm writing to you today, the 26th of December.

: #Laughs |"Young man," said the judge, looking sternly at the defendant.

: #Laughs Ebonics Crimmus PomeWuz de nite befo Crimmus An' all ower de hood ereybody wuz' sleepin' Dey wuz sleepin' goodWe hunged up our stockings An hoped like de' heck That ol Sanna Clause Be bringin' our checkAll o'de fambily Wuz layin in de beds While R

: #Laughs Q: Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?A: He comes down the chimney, wakes up the children and says,?"Hey kids, do you want to buy some toys?"

: #Laughs A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall: 0 If we fail to fill your order! When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant nuts on rye. She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen where al

: #Laughs What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards ? Best vicious of the season

: #Laughs |A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit.

: #Laughs |A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word.An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, "Ar

: #Laughs What happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in Spring training.

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