Tag: Laughs

: #Laughs What kind of bell doesn't ring? A dumbbell.

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: #Laughs While critiquing a survey instrument intended for mothers of infants less than one year old, I came across the following question:Have you ever breast fed your baby? a) Yes...b) No...c) Don't know"Don't know"? Huh?

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: #Laughs What are the three fastest means of communication? Internet, telephone, telawoman.

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: #Laughs A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 AM.Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to c

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: #Laughs How To Give Your Cat a Pill 1.

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: #Laughs |I am always getting those return address labels from charities wanting money.The other day, I got one from an Alzheimer's group.

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: #Laughs Gross pay: 22.02Income Tax244.40 Outgo Tax45.21 State Tax61.10 Interstate Tax5.89 County Tax6.11 City Tax12.22 Rual Tax4.44 Back Tax1.11 Front Tax1.16 Side tax1.61 Up Tax2.22 Down Tax1.11 Knickknack Tax1.98 Hackensack Tax3.93 Thumbtax0.98 Carpe

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: #Laughs This is, like, so dumb...Instructions on how to Colect a Beaker of Cat's Urine 1.Treat the beaker like your most prized possession.

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: #Laughs A man parked his car at the supermarket and was walking past an empty cart when he heard a woman ask, "Excuse me, did you want that cart?" "No," he answered.

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: #Laughs The pro football team had just finished theirdaily practice session when a large turkey camestrutting onto the field.While the players gazed in amazement, the turkeywalked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.Everyone stared in silence as th

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: #Laughs What do you call an aardvark that's just won a fight? A well 'aardvark!

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: #Laughs What's a hairdressers's favourite Christmas song? 'Oh comb all ye faithful'

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: #Laughs A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form.A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available.

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: #Laughs What is green, sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together ? Chimney Cricket !

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: #Laughs |OLD MUSICIANS never die, they just get played outOLD MUSICIANS never die, they just go from bar to barOLD NUCLEAR POWER PLANTS never die, they just go off-lineOLD NUMERICAL ANALYSTS never die, they just get disarrayedOLD OWLS never die, they just

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: #Laughs THOR, the God of Love wakes up the morning after the orgy.As he sits up, stretches and looks around, he sees a beautiful, shapely, young blonde standing in the doorway.He walks over and says - "Good morning, I'm THOR"!She looks back at him with bl

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: #Laughs What do cows usually fly around in? Helicowpters and Bulloons.

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: #Laughs A man was leaving church one day.

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: #Laughs |This is a true story of the late Irish author Brendan Behan who one night collapsed in a diabetic coma in a Dublin street.

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: #Laughs The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager kissing his secretary.

@FunnyJohny

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: #Laughs What kind of bell doesn't ring? A dumbbell.

: #Laughs While critiquing a survey instrument intended for mothers of infants less than one year old, I came across the following question:Have you ever breast fed your baby? a) Yes...b) No...c) Don't know"Don't know"? Huh?

: #Laughs What are the three fastest means of communication? Internet, telephone, telawoman.

: #Laughs A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 AM.Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to c

: #Laughs How To Give Your Cat a Pill 1.

: #Laughs |I am always getting those return address labels from charities wanting money.The other day, I got one from an Alzheimer's group.

: #Laughs Gross pay: 22.02Income Tax244.40 Outgo Tax45.21 State Tax61.10 Interstate Tax5.89 County Tax6.11 City Tax12.22 Rual Tax4.44 Back Tax1.11 Front Tax1.16 Side tax1.61 Up Tax2.22 Down Tax1.11 Knickknack Tax1.98 Hackensack Tax3.93 Thumbtax0.98 Carpe

: #Laughs This is, like, so dumb...Instructions on how to Colect a Beaker of Cat's Urine 1.Treat the beaker like your most prized possession.

: #Laughs A man parked his car at the supermarket and was walking past an empty cart when he heard a woman ask, "Excuse me, did you want that cart?" "No," he answered.

: #Laughs The pro football team had just finished theirdaily practice session when a large turkey camestrutting onto the field.While the players gazed in amazement, the turkeywalked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.Everyone stared in silence as th

: #Laughs What do you call an aardvark that's just won a fight? A well 'aardvark!

: #Laughs What's a hairdressers's favourite Christmas song? 'Oh comb all ye faithful'

: #Laughs A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form.A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available.

: #Laughs What is green, sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together ? Chimney Cricket !

: #Laughs |OLD MUSICIANS never die, they just get played outOLD MUSICIANS never die, they just go from bar to barOLD NUCLEAR POWER PLANTS never die, they just go off-lineOLD NUMERICAL ANALYSTS never die, they just get disarrayedOLD OWLS never die, they just

: #Laughs THOR, the God of Love wakes up the morning after the orgy.As he sits up, stretches and looks around, he sees a beautiful, shapely, young blonde standing in the doorway.He walks over and says - "Good morning, I'm THOR"!She looks back at him with bl

: #Laughs What do cows usually fly around in? Helicowpters and Bulloons.

: #Laughs A man was leaving church one day.

: #Laughs |This is a true story of the late Irish author Brendan Behan who one night collapsed in a diabetic coma in a Dublin street.

: #Laughs The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager kissing his secretary.

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