Tag: Laughs

: #Laughs Q: How many newsmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Only one, but he'll tell everybody.

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: #Laughs If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.A conclusion is the place where you get tired of thinking.Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.For every action, there is equal and opposite criticism

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: #Laughs What do you get when you put two blondes in the freezer? Frosted flakes.

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: #Laughs Why is King Kong big and hairy? So you can tell him apart from a gooseberry.

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: #Laughs Doctor, Doctor what did the x-ray of my head show? Absolutely nothing!

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: #Laughs Howard Dean's wife held a press conference today where she announced that until the election is over she will shave off all her pubic hair and sit on stage with husband Howard, and wearing no panties.Astounded reporters asked what the message was,

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: #Laughs Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate.

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: #Laughs What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo ? Big holes all over Australia !

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: #Laughs Fisherman: What are you fishing for sonny? Boy: I'm not fishing, I'm drowning worms.

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: #Laughs When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend's father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter's chest.

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: #Laughs Two Irishmen are sitting in a bar.

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: #Laughs SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?FATHER: I think so.

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: #Laughs What did the dog use to make his kite? Flypaper.

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: #Laughs Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes.There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?I think that's how dog

@FunnyJohny

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: #Laughs A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery.

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: #Laughs The 75 year old man and his young, knockout wife wereshopping in an upscale jewelry boutique when the man'soldest friend bumped into him.

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: #Laughs |Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle?Because of all the cheetahs!What do you call a elephant that never washes?A smellyphant!Teacher: "Where would you find an elephant?"Pupil:"You don't have to find them, they're too big to lose!"

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: #Laughs How do you know you're leading a sad life?When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."

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: #Laughs What do snakes write on the bottom of their letters? With love and hisses.

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: #Laughs |A solution to all of your drinking troublesSymptom: Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste; shirt front is wet.Fault: Mouth not open or glass being applied to wrong part of face.Solution: Buy another pint and practice in front of a mirror.

@FunnyJohny

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: #Laughs Q: How many newsmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Only one, but he'll tell everybody.

: #Laughs If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.A conclusion is the place where you get tired of thinking.Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.For every action, there is equal and opposite criticism

: #Laughs What do you get when you put two blondes in the freezer? Frosted flakes.

: #Laughs Why is King Kong big and hairy? So you can tell him apart from a gooseberry.

: #Laughs Doctor, Doctor what did the x-ray of my head show? Absolutely nothing!

: #Laughs Howard Dean's wife held a press conference today where she announced that until the election is over she will shave off all her pubic hair and sit on stage with husband Howard, and wearing no panties.Astounded reporters asked what the message was,

: #Laughs Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate.

: #Laughs What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo ? Big holes all over Australia !

: #Laughs Fisherman: What are you fishing for sonny? Boy: I'm not fishing, I'm drowning worms.

: #Laughs When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend's father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter's chest.

: #Laughs Two Irishmen are sitting in a bar.

: #Laughs SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?FATHER: I think so.

: #Laughs What did the dog use to make his kite? Flypaper.

: #Laughs Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes.There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?I think that's how dog

: #Laughs A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery.

: #Laughs The 75 year old man and his young, knockout wife wereshopping in an upscale jewelry boutique when the man'soldest friend bumped into him.

: #Laughs |Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle?Because of all the cheetahs!What do you call a elephant that never washes?A smellyphant!Teacher: "Where would you find an elephant?"Pupil:"You don't have to find them, they're too big to lose!"

: #Laughs How do you know you're leading a sad life?When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."

: #Laughs What do snakes write on the bottom of their letters? With love and hisses.

: #Laughs |A solution to all of your drinking troublesSymptom: Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste; shirt front is wet.Fault: Mouth not open or glass being applied to wrong part of face.Solution: Buy another pint and practice in front of a mirror.

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